The Star I See
by ProcurerFaith
Summary: It is a year since the fifteen hundred pages and Kaoru has gone to the summerland. Hikaru is learning to live again and while he does, he seeks the watchful eye of his brother in the night sky. However, it's not just his brother who is watching over him.


_**Disclaimer:**_ _Ouran Koukou (High School) Host Club was created by Bisco Hatori. 'The Lord of the Rings' trilogy was written by J.R.R. Tolkien, and the extract included is from 'The Return of the King'. I do not claim ownership to either of these things, and I am not making any money from this fic (but I am looking for a job as a writer XD) _

_**Author's note:**__ This story is the sequel to 'Fifteen Hundred Pages', which can be found via my profile. I have ain interesting habit of making sequels longer than the original ;) In addition, I am currently converting many of my most recent stories (including this one) to spoken word format. If you are interested in having the spoken word version, complete with soundtrack (of sorts), please drop me a PM and I'll arrange to get a copy to you :)_

_**Glossary:**_

_Kaimyo _– a posthumous honorific name conferred upon anyone who dies as a Buddhist. Often inscribed on an ihai (mortuary tablet)

_Isshuki –_ A service held on the first anniversary of a death.*

_Sho-Tsuki Meinichi -_ The first anniversary of a death.*

*If anyone can provide further clarification on these two phrases, it would be much appreciated.

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The Star I See

'_At last the three companions turned away, and never again looking back they rode slowly homewards; and they spoke no word to one another until they came back to the Shire, but each had great comfort in his friends on the long grey road.'_

J.R.R. Tolkien, 'The Return of the King'

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Hikaru took a deep breath and sighed it out slowly. The night blanket above him was black and clear, speckled with stars of all levels of brightness. In one hand Hikaru held half a wagashi and was still chewing on the other half as he reached out to a stout cup of hot tea beside him.

The blanket beneath Hikaru was covered in small plates of sweetmeats. The coverlet was a soft, fleecy affair, cushioned further by the green lawn beneath it. Hikaru shifted slightly, crossing his legs as he made himself more comfortable. Beside him rested a matching cup and a small stone plate, both currently empty. Hikaru cast his gaze to them and popped what remained of his own wagashi into his mouth, putting down his cup as he did so.

"Sorry. Should've done you first, shouldn't I?" Hikaru said casually between chews, and picked up a graceful-looking grey wagashi shaped like a dove. He placed it onto the black granite plate delicately and picked up the flask of tea, carefully pouring the steaming liquid into the matching cup. As he did so, he glanced up at the mortuary tablet bearing Kaoru's kaimyo, and the black-framed photograph of his twin.

"I'll find you, you know. I know you're up there," Hikaru said, putting down the flask and musing over a second wagashi. He smiled thinly and sniffed. It had been a long day, and this was the first time he'd had to himself-

"Hikaru-sama?" said a voice to his left, and Hikaru groaned. He rested back on his arms to gaze lopsidedly at the maid bowing to him.

"What?" he asked, looking irritated.

"Suoh Tamaki-sama is here to see you. Should I send him away?"

"…No." Hikaru sighed as he spoke. "Send him out here, would you?"

"Of course, Hikaru-sama."

While he waited for Tamaki to appear, Hikaru shifted down onto his back, one knee in the air and the other leg crossed over it. He locked his fingers behind his head and gazed deep into the night sky, as though if he looked hard enough he'd be able to look right through it. He dug a hand into the jacket pocket of the black suit he wore and pulled out a folding telescope. He pulled out the eyepiece with a flourish and looked through it, peering further up into the sky even than he had been before.

He paused on an unusually bright star and smiled.

"Maybe that's you. I don't remember seeing that one before." He put the telescope down on his stomach for a moment to dig in his other jacket pocket, eventually pulling out a folded and well-worn star chart. He began to unfold it, but as he did so a hefty wind skittered across the garden, folding the grass before it and snatching the chart from Hikaru's hands.

"Hey!" he exclaimed irritatedly, sitting up and watching it fold end over end across the green grass as he tried to hold down two corners of the blanket.

"I'll get it!" called a familiar voice, and Hikaru turned to see Tamaki chasing the chart down the garden. Hikaru snickered suddenly, happy to let Tamaki do the legwork for the chart.

"Left a bit… No, right Tono! That's it!" Hikaru called as Tamaki helplessly chased the large sheet of paper from one side of the garden to another. Finally he grabbed it and Hikaru gave him a round of applause for his efforts. Tamaki poked his tongue out and returned to Hikaru, looking dishevelled. He handed Hikaru the chart and sat beside him on the blanket – mindful to give the mortuary tablet and picture some room.

The two boys were silent for a while, Hikaru peering at the star chart. Tamaki's eyes were on Kaoru's picture, however. His face bore a gentle smile, and the gaze that rested on his late friend's image carried slight melancholy.

"Aaah. So it's really a year already?"

"Mm," was all Hikaru said in response as he pulled down the star chart. He too looked at Kaoru's image, and the melancholy from Tamaki's expression transferred to his.

"How was the isshuki?" Tamaki asked, picking up the photograph and setting it in his lap.

"…It was an isshuki," Hikaru said, and his disregard for the tedium of such a memorial was clear as he folded the star chart. It was, in Hikaru's expert opinion, a memorial that Kaoru would not have appreciated anyway.

"I've never been to one," Tamaki said, brushing imaginary dust from the glass-covered photograph with a palm and smiling at the twin who smiled stiffly back, his own expression frozen; captured for just one fraction of a second.

"Hope you never have to. They're boring," Hikaru said, picking at an exposed patch of grass near his feet. "Kaoru would have preferred his sho-tsuki meinichi to be celebrated in some other way."

"What do you think he'd have wanted?" Tamaki asked, turning his gentle gaze onto Hikaru. Hikaru shrugged.

"Dunno. Something small with family and friends. Not with a monk and a gong and a boring scripture."

"Mm," Tamaki said inscrutably, and fell silent. He put the picture back down and looked at the teacup beside the mortuary tablet. He smacked his lips unconsciously, prompting Hikaru to realise that he was being a poor host.

"Oh. Sorry. Only two cups. I can get you another-" Hikaru began in response, but Tamaki shook his head and waved a hand emphatically.

"No, no, it's fine!"

"No, here –" and Hikaru tipped the tea from his own cup onto the grass and wiped out the cup with a napkin. "Use this one. Kao and I will share." He held out the cup to Tamaki, who looked at Hikaru with an expression which told of both how touching and how painful it was to hear such a solution.

"What? Take it," Hikaru said, and took Tamaki's hand roughly, propping his cup in it and closing the older boy's fingers around the warm stoneware.

"Y-yes. Okay…" Tamaki said, and clutched the cup to himself before Hikaru opened the flask and proffered the open end to Tamaki. Tamaki allowed Hikaru to pour him a fresh cup of tea and watched as his friend sealed the flask again, putting it down and picking up the cup beside the mortuary tablet.

"I feel silly for asking, but…he won't mind?" Tamaki asked. Hikaru shook his head and shrugged, not willing to give more of an answer than that as he sipped rapidly cooling tea from the cup.

"Take one," Hikaru said, gesturing towards the wagashi. Tamaki nodded and picked up a small purple wagashi shaped like a plum blossom.

Hikaru opened his telescope and pointed it up into the night sky once again. A moment or so later he lowered it, sighing. Tamaki noted this and said,

"Still no joy?"

"No," said Hikaru and snapped the telescope shut, looking dejected.

"They've found new ones though, right?"

"Yeah, but none of them are right," Hikaru replied, picking up a wagashi and stretching his legs out in front of him. "None of them are Karou. I thought…maybe, because of today being what it is…" Hikaru shrugged and cut himself off, tapping his feet together irritatedly.

"Are you sure you'd know?" Tamaki asked, and was rewarded with a look that could cut glass.

"Sorry, sorry…" he said, extending his hands in a placating gesture.

The boys were silent for a moment, sipping tea and eating their wagashi. Whenever Hikaru had taken a mouthful of tea, he would always put the cup back down in front of Kaoru's photograph to ensure that he was indeed sharing the contents, as he had promised.

"Did you come to check up on me?" Hikaru asked eventually, looking directly at Tamaki. Tamaki choked on a piece of wagashi, and Hikaru smacked him hard on the back. Between coughs and the tears in his eyes, Tamaki said,

"Maybe a little…" Hikaru smiled tightly at that, and settled back down. He suddenly remembered the black tie at his neck and tucked his finger behind the knot, tugging it down and away from him. The tie slid apart in his hands; he was so used to wearing one as part of the school uniform that taking it off was almost an unconscious act. He folded the tie carefully and said, without looking up from it,

"I'm…okay.

"I'm okay. I'm more okay than I thought I'd be."

"I'm glad," said Tamaki, and closed his eyes as he took a sip from his tea. Hikaru nodded, still not taking his eyes from the tie. He continued to nod gently, a small smile tipping the corners of his mouth, until Tamaki noticed the movement and said,

"Are you sure?"

There was a long pause before Hikaru sighed and sagged, closing his eyes and turning his face to the sky. He felt tears burn beneath his eyelids, but he'd promised himself he wouldn't cry. He was only feeling sorry for himself, after all – Kaoru was in a place where no pain could touch him anymore, and he was glad of it. He'd suffered quite enough before his death.

"Yeah.

"I'd be better if I could find his star, though."

"Mm. I'm sure it's there," Tamaki said reassuringly.

"It is," Hikaru said, confirming Tamaki's words without the stain of doubt.

The two young men looked up into the sky again, watching as the stars twinkled and winked at them; gazing upon their light so old that the originators had already disintegrated and ceased to be.

"I'm glad we finished the book," Hikaru said softly. Tamaki turned, his head to one side in a quizzical fashion.

"Even if us finishing the book meant me reading the last couple of pages to him while he was in a coma," Hikaru continued, as though he hadn't noticed Tamaki's movement. Tamaki realised what he was saying at that, and respectfully returned his gaze to the night sky.

"They didn't think he'd hold on that long," Hikaru said, tearing up a handful of grass and tugging the blades in half, casting them into his lap.

"Kaoru wanted to finish the book, too," said Tamaki, and smiled at his friend. Hikaru glanced at Tamaki and smiled lightly in return. He threw the handful of grass back down to the lawn, brushed off his lap and the blanket, and said,

"Yeah, because he didn't know 'Lord of the Rings' back to front anyway - Mr Modern Literature Geek."

Again the boys paused. As they did so, Hikaru flumped back down on the blanket, hands behind his head. Feeling at odds with being left alone to sit up, Tamaki copied him, and the two boys lay beside each other but for the photo, watching the sky as though it were a much-loved TV show.

"I miss him," Hikaru said; and there it was, all of a sudden – the elephant that had been in the garden when Tamaki arrived. Tamaki turned to fix his gaze on Hikaru, though the younger boy did not move even as he felt his friend's eyes on him.

"…Okay, so that's a _big_ understatement.

"I really, _really _miss him. It's like…I dunno, people say it's like missing a limb, but it's more than that.

"It's said that when you love somebody, you give them a piece of yourself and that when you lose them, you lose that piece of you that you gave them, too." As though he'd run out of energy, Hikaru stopped, taking a moment to breathe the cold night air deeply and to close his eyes. It was his counsellor who had told him this, the counsellor he'd seen every week for six months to help him deal with the grief that had all but consumed him like a white-hot flame.

Tamaki watched him with care, waiting patiently for him to continue. This Hikaru was already a world away from the inconsolable shadow that he had disintegrated into in the days and weeks after Kaoru's passing. Just as Kaoru had asked, Tamaki and Haruhi had held him up as well as they could; had put him back on his feet time and time again when Hikaru himself had been unable to find them, flailing blindly in new darkness, in his new and unique loneliness. Tamaki had invested his heart in Hikaru's; he had grafted pieces of his own over the gaping holes in his bereft friend's, had gifted him company even when the only company Hikaru had been able to bear was that of silent presence.

"The piece of me that Kaoru had…was a big piece. It was half of me and so, when he died, half of me died with him." Hikaru opened his eyes again and stared hard at the stars. He blinked repeatedly, feeling tears well in his eyes again – though he didn't wish to shed them. One of the first lessons the counsellor had taught him was how to cry properly, but he didn't want to, not yet. He'd made the day so far without crying, and he didn't want to start now.

"And I miss him. I miss him in ways that even now, even a year after he died, I'm still finding. I miss him when I wake up. I miss him when I go to sleep. I miss him brushing out my hair, or talking sense into me when I need it. I miss having a drink to share when I'm thirsty, I miss having someone who knew when I was thirsty and who got a drink _for_ me. I miss never having to look into a mirror, because I always had one right there. I miss having someone to hold my hand." Hikaru lifted his right hand then, holding it over his face and obscuring the stars with it. He turned it slowly, closing and opening his fingers as he did so. He turned his head to his left, and found himself looking directly into Tamaki's eyes and, slightly recessed, the image of his lost twin.

Hikaru reached out and pulled up the picture, setting it on his chest and looking up at the still frame of his twin. He smiled softly, tapping the image with his fingertips. With that, he pulled it face-down to his chest, one arm over the back of it. He kissed the edge of the frame lightly and smiled, gazing back up at the sky.

"This is as close as I can get to that, now.

"And even though I can function, and I have a life, I don't see a time when I won't miss him."

"We all miss our Kaoru," Tamaki said softly. "We all wish he hadn't been taken so early." Hikaru rubbed his eyes at this as tears suddenly sprung to them; he hadn't expected to be so touched by Tamaki's words and so they took him by surprise. Tamaki sat up on noticing this movement, looking at Hikaru with concern.

"I'm fine," Hikaru forced, and smiled as his face appeared from beneath his hand again.

"Sometimes I forget that other people loved him, too," Hikaru said, sitting back up so that he could look straight at Tamaki. Tamaki smiled encouragingly and offered him a wagashi.

"Nuh-uh. Kaoru first," said Hikaru, nodding towards the mortuary tablet. With a slight reluctance, he stood the photograph back on the blanket and smiled at it warmly. Tamaki was more than happy to comply with Hikaru's request, and selected an orange wagashi in the shape of a koi carp. As he placed it carefully onto Kaoru's plate, Hikaru grinned and said,

"Orange. Good choice." Tamaki preened briefly before offering the plate of wagashi to Hikaru. As it happened, an identical wagashi remained and Hikaru took it instinctively. Tamaki smiled, amused by this. Hikaru looked at him with bemusement for a moment, and Tamaki said,

"It's the same as Kaoru's."

"Oh." Hikaru shrugged. "Pairs are natural to a twin. We find comfort in them. We like double digits too, like eleven, twenty-two and thirty-three. Didn't you ever notice that our favourite time of day was eleven am?"

"No…" said Tamaki, musing on this as he found it curious. Hikaru crunched on the wagashi with his incisors, not taking it from his mouth for a minute or so as Tamaki chose his own – a red fan. Finally Hikaru took the wagashi out of his mouth and turned what remained of it over and over in his fingers.

"It's easy for people to remember that I lost my brother. It's easy for people to remember that I lost my twin," Hikaru said, after a time. He indicated himself with an open hand and said,

"It's not like that latter part isn't obvious.

"What people tend to forget is that for a long time, Kaoru was my only friend. Until we were thirteen, we didn't have any friends but each other. I lost my best friend and my childhood friend as well as my brother and my twin.

"And…I feel bad," Hikaru said, continuing to turn the wagashi in his fingers. He rubbed a rough edge as he did so and looked away, once again trying to restrain the emotions that bobbed just beneath the surface of his words.

"Why? What do you feel bad about?" Tamaki asked. He had been about to take a sip from his tea, but Hikaru's words concerned him more deeply than his thirst.

"At the end… At the very end, when he was in pain and not really with us at all…

"I wished he'd go. I actually wished him dead." Hikaru fixed his gaze on the wagashi as he turned it; it was disintegrating now and leaving powdered sugar behind on his fingertips.

"I wanted his pain to be over, but also, I wanted mine to be, too.

"It was selfish.

"And it annoys me, because he'd tell me off for feeling bad about it and then tell me it's fine, but it's _not _fine, not really."

Hikaru stopped talking then, and jammed the wagashi into his mouth. He hadn't wanted that to come out, and certainly not like that – but there the words were, out in the open for Tono to judge him on. He felt like the stupid, selfish five-year-old he had once been until Tamaki sighed softly and looked over at him. Hikaru could feel Tamaki's eyes on him, and he glanced back nervously, unwilling to meet his friend's gaze but wishing for some kind of acceptance nonetheless. Tamaki's expression was one of gentle understanding – not of judgement, or anger, or disappointment; all of which were expressions Hikaru might have expected to see.

"Aaah, Hikaru." Tamaki sipped from his teacup again. "I think Kaoru was ready to go. He was…" and here Tamaki paused, as the memory pricked at him, too.

"He was suffering a great deal at the end. It was a natural thing, I think, for you to feel that way.

"You wished for his pain to be over. When you wished for him to die, it was because you couldn't bear to watch him suffer pain anymore. The context of your wish changes completely when looked at with the eyes of somebody who knows you loved him like he was the last person in the world."

"Or the first," Hikaru responded, but his voice was weak. Tamaki nodded; somehow it was still easy to forget that the twins had been conceived as one physical body and that each had been the first person the other had seen. Hikaru dabbed at his face with his sleeve for a moment, relieved that Tamaki had not rejected him for his admission.

"Are you okay?" Tamaki asked after an extended moment, during which Hikaru remained sitting with his sleeve pressed to his cheek, looking away from Tamaki at a small patch of ground which came into and went out of focus as he stared at it. Hikaru blinked rapidly, forced a smile and said,

"Yeah, I'm fine. Got something in my eye, that's all."

"Oh. I see," said Tamaki, and he did. After a while, Hikaru removed his sleeve from his face and plucked at his eyelashes distractedly.

"Sitting next to him, day after day…knowing that he was dying…" Hikaru said, and suddenly there was nothing between the two friends but the words that hung in the air like delicate spring blooms. "Watching him hold on as though he hadn't finished, like he was saying 'I'm not done yet, I'm not done, just one more minute…' It was awful. I hated it, I hated having to watch that.

"Once he fell into the coma, I knew. I'd denied it for a long time, but…

"There was no denying it anymore, then.

"I knew he wasn't going to wake up anymore. I just knew.

"It was like… I dunno. Like clinging to someone's hands when they're falling off a cliff. When you're holding on and their fingers are slipping away from yours and they look at you and there's that moment… that moment where you know they've given up but you can't let go…

"You can't let go.

"I couldn't let go until he did."

Tamaki nodded and for a moment was unable to speak any words of comfort; there was a lump in his throat the size of a continent. As he tried to swallow it, Hikaru spoke again;

"I'm so glad I kissed him goodnight, that night. It was the last time I looked him in the eyes. And he smiled, and I smiled, and now I think that he knew. That he knew he was going. And that…maybe…"

Hikaru turned to Tamaki, and he'd given up on holding back his tears. He smiled as he pulled his knees to his chest and folded his arms over them, resting his chin into them as he did so. He sniffed and concluded,

"I think maybe he knew I'd be okay."

"Kaoru always had faith in you," Tamaki said as he found himself mirroring Hikaru's position. "He always believed that you were strong enough to make it. He believed in you, no matter what happened between you or between the both of you and others. You were his oniisan."

Hikaru nodded, his jaw trembling like the legs of a new kitten.

"And you. He had just as much faith in you and in our friends. It sounds crazy, but it feels like maybe he'd laid some kind of…insurance down for me with you, and that because it was finally all sorted out, it was okay to let go."

"It was…maybe…_something_ like that," Tamaki said, musing over this with a honeysuckle smile - and this time his own tears overflowed. Hikaru pushed his face into the crook of his hand and smiled wetly.

"Figures," he said. "I'm alive and well and he's dying – but he's still worrying about me. Typical."

For a moment Hikaru didn't move. He felt Tamaki move across the blanket, but only looked up when he felt the older boy's hand on his. Hikaru looked at Tamaki quizzically, and Tamaki took his left hand in both of his gently, turning it over in his own until his fingers slid between Hikaru's and he squeezed. Hikaru's gaze remained confused, until Tamaki said,

"My hand is not Kaoru's hand. But I think he would want you to hold the hand of _someone_."

Hikaru dived forward then, knocking over the teacups and spilling rapidly cooling tea over the surface of the blanket. He wrapped his arms around Tamaki's chest and sobbed into his shoulder, just like the counsellor had taught him – don't hold in the sobs; open your chest, sit upright and let them come, remembering to breathe.

_Remember to breathe, _Hikaru thought to himself as Tamaki's arms wrapped firmly around his shoulders.

"It might be a year since we lost him, Hikaru. But we don't expect you to have forgotten him. It's okay to cry, and I think…

"I think Kaoru would think so too." Tamaki said into Hikaru's shoulder, sniffing as his own eyes overflowed once again.

"Not that he'd want you to cry forever. Just as much as you need to cry to feel better," Tamaki added, as Hikaru started to quieten.

"I know," Hikaru forced. He slowly pulled away, wiping his eyes on his jacket sleeve and sniffing heavily. Tamaki let him go, not wishing to overpower him with affection – despite every instinct telling him to hold on and never let go.

"You've come such a long way. I wonder if you even know," Tamaki said, and the smile he gave was genuine and warm. Hikaru watched him as Tamaki leaned forward to pick up the cups. The older boy pulled his own to one side and put the cup the twins had been sharing back beside Kaoru's photograph. As Tamaki glanced up, his hand on the flask, he saw from Hikaru's expression that he really didn't know how far he had come – but it didn't matter. He, Tamaki, did know. As did Haruhi, and Mori, and Hunny, and Kyouya; every member of the host club who remained behind, intertwined like a safety net for the twin who had not been the hand-holder on the clifftop - but the twin who fell.

Tamaki poured two fresh cups of tea with what remained in the flask and closed the lid, sitting back down with his legs folded beneath him, looking up at the stars.

"What about that one?" Tamaki asked, pointing at a particularly bright star which twinkled like a smile in candlelight. Hikaru sniffed and pulled out his telescope. He put it to a swollen eye and said,

"Nah. Not bright enough."

"Really? Hn. I was sure that was the one."

"Seriously, it's not him. I'd know," Hikaru said, quashing any further disagreement on the matter. He peered through his telescope again.

Although," he said, a smirk twisting his face, "You're only half wrong. It's Pollux."

"Pollux?" asked Tamaki, confused for a moment.

"Yeah. Pollux. It's the star that's twinned with Castor. You know your Greek mythology, right Tono?"

"Oh. Of course…" Tamaki said, scanning his memory for that particular myth. Hikaru's smirk widened as he noticed this.

"Castor got a mortal spearwound from one of his cousins while playing lookout for Pollux. Pollux was setting free a bunch of cattle the twins and their two cousins had argued about. Pollox killed the two cousins and came back to where Castor was dying. Zeus gave Pollux the option of coming to spend all his time on Mount Olympus or giving half of his immortality to Castor.

"Of course, he gave half his immortality to Castor and they spend their days – supposedly – between Mount Olympus and Hades," Hikaru said, smiling as he recounted the tale.

"When we were little, it was one of our favourite stories," he said, looking over to Tamaki.

"Who does Pollox remind you of?" Tamaki asked, and Hikaru grinned.

"Oh, I don't know - but he looked a lot like me," he said.

The two young men sat silently for a while, Hikaru gazing up at the sky through his telescope and Tamaki idly munching on wagashi and sipping from his teacup.

Suddenly, there was an overstated tinkling noise. Hikaru looked accusingly at Tamaki, who had the grace to rush for his phone, flip it open and read the offending text message.

It was from Kyouya and read, simply_, 'We're here'_.

"Hikaru?" Tamaki asked after a pause. Hikaru stopped peering through his telescope and looked at Tamaki expectantly. Tamaki stroked the blanket beside him absently and said,

"Do you think you could handle some more company?"

"Dunno. Why?" Hikaru asked, picking at the leather sewn around the brass telescope as absently as Tamaki stroked the blanket.

"Because there are four other friends outside in a car who would like to celebrate Kaoru's life with you. In a way I think he'd like more than with a monk and a gong and a boring scripture," Tamaki said.

Hikaru paused for a moment, fingering the telescope, his gaze trapped by the delicate embroidery on the leather. For a moment Tamaki thought he would say no –until, without looking up, Hikaru said,

"I'd like that."

Tamaki didn't respond other than to sigh with relief, and quickly sent Kyouya a reply text. He snapped the phone shut and said,

"I'll go let your maids know they're coming and that we'll need more refreshments." Hikaru nodded, still fingering the stitching on the telescope.

Tamaki stood and brushed himself off; he still had beads of tea on his black trousers and shirt. He glanced once more at Hikaru, who did not move, before disappearing quickly back into the house with worry stealing across his features like a black-clad thief.

Hikaru waited until the garden was quiet again but for the gentle breeze shaking down the early autumn flowers before looking back up into the twinkling, glittering night sky.

"You were no fool, were you?" he said. "You knew so much about people, so much that I have yet to learn. You watched everything didn't you; knew who to trust and who not to, knew how to analyse a person's actions even before they knew what they would be.

"You knew how to choose your friends - and by default, mine.

"You were looking out for me then and you're still looking out for me now.

"I love you, and I'll always miss you.

"But thank you.

"Thank you for everything."

Hikaru snapped closed the telescope as he heard footsteps and voices by the conservatory door. He skilfully wiped his eyes and turned to the door, smiling, as his friends wandered out into the night to bee with him. Hunny sat beside him and tucked Usa-chan into Hikaru's arms, talking and smiling as though it were the most normal action in the world. Mori sat beside Hunny and nodded at Hikaru; it was enough of a motion for Hikaru to interpret it as 'I'm here if you need me and I'm thinking of you.' Haruhi sat down on Hikaru's left, where Tamaki had been – and immediately put her hands together and bowed before Kaoru's image. Hikaru smiled; her action meant the world to him, and he knew that Kaoru would have been as touched as he himself was. He looked further to his left, to where Tamaki and Kyouya still stood. Kyouya's arms were folded, and beside him stood a twelve inch tripod telescope. Tamaki looked slightly nervous as Hikaru's jaw dropped. Kyouya smirked, pushing up his glasses before he spoke.

"We thought it might be easier to find Kaoru with a bigger telescope.

"Not because he will be small necessarily, but because he may be closer to heaven than we thought."

Hikaru smiled widely, moved beyond language at the consideration of his senior – he did not doubt that an idea of such practical help had come directly from Kyouya. He felt tears prickling his eyes again.

"Thank you," he said, and looked at Haruhi, who smiled and took his hand more easily than Tamaki had.

"I'd like to find him as much as you would," she said. Hikaru smiled and squeezed her hand.

"If we can't find him with a telescope like that, we'll just have to go to Greenwich in London." he said with a crooked grin on his face. "There's a _really_ big telescope there."

_~fini~_

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Thank you for reading to the end! I hope I was able to entertain you for a bit with my fic, and that you enjoyed it :)


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